@ayyyyloser: Break the ice when sending business emails by being the first to use a poop emoji
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@nyquills: God: welcome to heaven! Me: but i didn't believe in you. God: yeah i get that a lot. Me: so... we're all good then? God: lmao no I just wanted to do this *reaches for lever*
@MaraWritesStuff: I still can't believe it when someone in the bathroom stall next to me is talking on the phone I mean, who TALKS on the phone
@SatansTongue: *Meninist meeting* WOMEN ARE EVIL- *phone rings* Uhh just a second... *picks up phone* Mom not while I'm doing my club! Yes, pizza tonight.