@ayyyyloser: Break the ice when sending business emails by being the first to use a poop emoji
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@markedly: Me: *accidentally types url wrong one time* Navigation Bar: [every day for 15 years] Do you wanna go to Faceboot today? Huh? You wanna visit a boot with a face on it? Huh, you piece of shit? Is that what you wanna do? Moron.
@bobvulfov: Why did the thumbs-up become the universal symbol for approval? "hey let me show u my weirdest finger because i'm down with what ur saying"
@whereami18: Saying no thanks to a CW's offer to hit me with their car so I could take the day off proves decisions shouldn't be made before coffee