@trouteyes: BREAKING: A man who took British Airways to court after his luggage went missing has lost his case.
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@GrantTanaka: Bruce Wayne was terrified of bats & he became Batman, so anyway that's why I became ClownBaboonDentistMan
@sixfootcandy: (first date) Me: *hyperventilating* Him: Don't be nervous. Take a deep breath. Me: Can't. I'm wearing three pairs of Spanx.
@kiel_phillips: INTERVIEWER: So, do you have any questions for me? ME: What's the Wi-Fi password? I: About the job M: What is the company Wi-fi password?