@iamjeffsloan: Breaking Bad is my favorite documentary about what it takes to be an entrepreneur while balancing family life.
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@Marlebean: AHHHHHHHH HONEY COME QUICK THERE'S A RAT IN THE SHOwer oh uh never mind, it's just my hair in the drain
@kentgrossarth: I don't understand why gyms have mirrors. I know what I look like. That's why I'm here.
@better_off_dad: HR: Know why we called you down? Me: Hmm...a raise? HR: You know we monitor internet usage right? Me: I'd like to report a hacking!