@Cali_Kid_Mike: Breaking: Fox News reports Obama is no longer a suspect.
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@macchiatonumb: Random girl: OMG I love your UGG boots Me: No No... that's just the way my feet look
@SortaBad: Executive: What should we name the mutant with neato magnetic powers? Me: [clearly joking] How about Mag-Neato? Exec: damn that's so good
@TheCatWhisprer: My cat acts pretty tough for someone who disappears for 3 days anytime I sneeze.