@Cali_Kid_Mike: Breaking: Fox News reports Obama is no longer a suspect.
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@TheBoydP: Relationship status: Lucy holding the football for Charlie Brown to kick. She's Lucy. I'm the football.
@STEELERS1972: So I met this hooker who said she'd do anything for ten bucks . Guess who got his yard cut?
@Wtftab: Useful information: don't turn around if a woman throws a shoe at your back. Because more than likely the other one is in mid flight.
@faisaladam_: If a girl says she loves you, do you tell her thank you or run away screaming? Asking for a dad. Seriously, asking for a dad. I need a dad.