@TeaPartyCat: BREAKING: Hillary Clinton concedes election to Donald Trump, saying “I just can’t see how I can win after Scott Baio endorsed Trump.”
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@RxitWounds: *Sits straight up in bed* "THE CHILDREN" *Kids are sitting in the produce department while two watermelons sleep peacefully in their beds*
@DurtMcHurtt: [making out] ME: *grabs a blindfold from the nightstand* GIRLFRIEND: omg really? ME: *blindfolding the dog at the end of the bed* really.
@ericsshadow: CNN: President Obama Rescues a Child From a Burning Home FOX: Failed President Obama Tries To Take Jobs Away From Hard Working Firefighters