@TeaPartyCat: BREAKING: Hillary Clinton concedes election to Donald Trump, saying “I just can’t see how I can win after Scott Baio endorsed Trump.”
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@ibid78: Do I have friends? Are we allowed to count the enemies of my enemies? Then yes, I have a bunch of friends.
@BarryVonAwesome: If you own a karate dojo and you don't make your employees answer the phone "Hiiiiiiiiya" You're doing it wrong
@vladchoc: I don't need people. I have potato chips. And unlike people you can enjoy them and then legally throw their crumpled remains into a campfire
@LolaFaglana: I taught my youngest niece and nephew to say "Mommy steals credit cards" when they're in a checkout line.