@Cheeseboy22: BREAKING NEWS: 23 injured while running with bulls. Authorities say injuries happened because folks were stupid enough to run... with bulls.
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@jharden21: teacher: i'm considering moving the test to next week. you guys down with that? me (too loud): down like the dog at the end of marley & me!
@EndhooS: [High school reunion] Classmate: I've been out building schools in Africa Me: I got banned from the zoo for gluing sideburns onto a dolphin
@radtoria: [intercom] Please stop putting clown shoes on the sacrificial goat. The ritual is in 3 days & the other cults aren't taking us seriously.
@StarWarsProblms: Luke: Did you get the card I made you? Vader: I couldn’t read it. Your handwriting is awful. Luke: I HAD TO WRITE WITH MY LEFT HAND.