@Cheeseboy22: BREAKING NEWS: 23 injured while running with bulls. Authorities say injuries happened because folks were stupid enough to run... with bulls.
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@danimgrace: Take your husband’s last name. Take his first name. Take his social. Assume his identity. Hide the body in a closet. You’re the husband now.
@KrangTNelson: RUNNER: this is called "carbo-loading. we eat lots of heavy food ME: that's great. love it RUNNER: then we go for a nice long run ME: no
@KevinFarzad: According to tinder, every guy is at a lake holding a fish & every girl is on top of a mountain & that's why it's so tragically hard to meet