@PAT_E_ROCK: BREAKING NEWS: Due to the horrible conditions at Sochi, the Olympics have been moved to a much safer place.. Chernobyl.
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@thebeckyard: "Mom, you need to calm down with how much cheese you've been buying." *silently writes him out of my will*
@chuuew: ME: [gets into a car accident] EMT: Sir, please step out of the vehicle, we're trying to save lives
@LoniBryantt: It's OK if you're older and hate millennials that's fine but next time you can't figure out how to print a word doc DONT ASK ME CAROL