@Dog_Marriage: Breaking news from My dog!! there ar Small animals outside sometimes, but especially Right Now.
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@OFalafel: Man on train saying he's in back-to-back meetings all day, I suggested trying face-to-face meetings. He left without thanking me.
@gitson_shiggles: If people on Twitter found a horses' head in their bed at least 3/4 of them would get a selfie with it before calling the cops.....
@AmishPornStar1: I don't know why I always end up behind the old lady who is trying to do a reverse mortgage on her home at the ATM.