@sickipediabot: Breaking News ..... international womans day postsponed until tomorrow , as they haven't got anything to wear
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@XplodingUnicorn: 4 y.o: I used the potty. Can I have a treat? Me: No. You always go in the potty 4: I can stop Me: Apparently I negotiate with terrorists
@Mr_Kapowski: "Welcome to Armageddon Welcome to Legageddon Welcome to Quadageddon" Me: *raises hand* Are you the only trainer available at the gym today?
@GloriaFallon123: I hope Kim and Kanye surprise everyone and name this next kid something like Bill or Jen
@SirEviscerate: People are like snowflakes. Individually small and ineffective, but if we work together we can make my step dad crash his car into a tree.