@Cheeseboy22: BREAKING NEWS: North Korea may test a missil on April 10. They just need to find a gigantic bottle of Coke and a huge Mento.
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@MableGertrude: I wonder how many people come visit our country and then immediately leave after trying a slice of American cheese.
@Home_Halfway: *KNOCK KNOCK* OPEN UP ITS THE POLICE "What do you want?" YOU'RE UNDER ARRES- "No." ..NO?? "No, I don't want to be." *whispers* Shit now what
@Parkerlawyer: My client's (soon to be ex) wife just flipped me off in the courthouse parking lot, so yeah, I'm obviously doing my job right.
@pinupteacher: Hey baby, lemme see what's under that shell. Ugh, as if. *Lady turtle starts walking away.* [3 hours later] I still see you there baby.