@StephenKing: Breaking News: Reliable sources reveal that Donald Trump is actually Cthulu. The absurd hairdo isn't absurd at all. It hides the tentacles.
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@okimstillhungry: Me: Can you hear me? Ouija board: Y-E-S Me: Is it hard to hear me with all the updog? Ouija board: I-W-I-L-L-M-U-R-D-E
@Book_Krazy: *In the elevator* Guy: Good morning ladies. You two going down? Me: No. We're just friends Guy: ....
@mrtruthandsoul: *holding cardboard sign by intersection* NOT POOR JUST ON MY WAY TO BREAK DANCING SCHOOL