@ImSoFrancis: BREAKING NEWS: Scientists have discovered what may be the worlds largest bed sheet. More on that as it unfolds.
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@Rainbowbunee: Opened the bathroom cupboard and a bunch of feminine hygiene products fell out on me. It was a tampede.
@PoliUncorrect: *Crime Scene Cop: (cuffs the dog) Detective: what the hell are you doing? Cop: Sir, I think we're dealing with a shapeshifter
@heatherlou_: Can’t afford the chiropractor so I’m just going to lay down in the road and hope for the best.
@WheelTod: I hate being woken up so if you find me sleeping, let me rest. If you can't follow that simple rule, next time just hire another pilot.