@slimmy_shady: Breaking news!? Shark sighting off Daytona shores. It's the ocean! That's where they live. I saw a bird in the sky. Report that too!
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@AnkCoupleTO: Just saw Samuel L. Jackson order a couple of bagels. He paid for them and said thank you so basically now my whole life is ruined
@DanMentos: words that seem cool until you find out what they mean - atrophy - space bar - supervision - extraction - dogmatic
@AComicTragedy: Considering you can be anything you want on the internet, it's amazing how many choose to be stupid.
@juicymorsel: Pretending you're dead to avoid conversation in the hospital is the worst way to learn how a defibrillator works.