@slimmy_shady: Breaking news!? Shark sighting off Daytona shores. It's the ocean! That's where they live. I saw a bird in the sky. Report that too!
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@trojansauce: [titanic] SAILER: but captain there's an ice berg right ahead CAPTAIN WHO LOOKS SUSPICIOUSLY LIKE A SHARK: i said straight ahead
@MarfSalvador: [first day as a waiter] me: may I recommend the steak? customer: yes ok me: thanks. I recommend the steak
@StorybookBlonde: My cell phone fell in the pool...now I know what it feels like to have someone you love drown.