@CrapLocalNews: Breaking news:
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@LizHackett: I would be okay with a ghost in the house if every time a bathroom mirror fogged up with steam, it slowly wrote out "DID YOU LOSE WEIGHT?"
@breatheandlove: The good news is, that bag of clothes from 1998 that I still haven't taken to the donation centre…they are back in style now.
@Book_Krazy: [interview] "How would you describe your people skills?" ME: I tend to drive others away. "That's great! Welcome to Uber."
@Playing_Dad: Me: You want to watch a horror movie for Halloween? Dog: Sure, put it on Me: *turns on Dyson vacuum infomercial*