@jazmasta: BREAKING: Olympic athlete stripped of medal after urine sample shows traces of rubber, which is a band substance
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@ch000ch: *puts crime-scene photos in a rocket* Ok stand back "Detective, what are u doing?" What does it look like, I'm launching this investigation
@juneohara65: I have a time phobia. *looks at watch, panics *looks at clock, panics *looks at thyme "This I can handle."
@AnkCoupleTO: Just saw Samuel L. Jackson order a couple of bagels. He paid for them and said thank you so basically now my whole life is ruined