@Snarfernini: He: How are you?
Me: Thanks, but I'm too old for you
He: I was going to ask about your wireless prov...
Me: Just keep telling yourself that
@ddsmidt: Me: If you're going to serve alcohol at a company party, then you shouldn't act so surprised when someone speaks their mind.
HR: Get out
@OhNoSheTwitnt: If Thor is a woman, what's next? Woman doctors? Woman lawyers? Woman mothers? When will it end?
@ibid78: [sees girl reading The Bible]
"Ah I love that book. The way they just *clenches fist* buy all those frickin bulls."
@E_lok44: Me: What kind of stupid phone you got there?
Him: Windows phone
Me: Oh [takes it and lobs it out the window] Yes it is
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