@weirdralph: BREAKING: Popeye Expresses Outrage as Pope Goes to Mount Olive
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@SharkJelly: "Hey honey" *drags a cigarette* "have you ever" *drinks some scotch* "slept with a guy" *sucks a lollipop* "with three arms?"
@Better_Clever: Women who always hustle to clean the house before the maid service arrives.. What the hell is wrong with you?!
@jerm1991: Astronaut: wtf is this NASA: it's space food A: I specifically asked for only Milky Way bars N: look we get it but- A: no no I'm coming down
@joerogan: I know I spend too much time on my phone because I was reading a magazine and I just tried to enlarge the picture by spreading my fingers.