@LOLGOP: BREAKING: Republicans may oppose President Obama's decision to skip breakfast.
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@pharmasean: [in hell] Me: *sneeze* The devil: bless you Me, waving as I float to heaven: haha, fool the devil: DAMN YOU Me, floating back to hell: dang
@JohnLyonTweets: If a woman looks sad, tell her "You'd be pretty if you smiled more" and you won't see her looking sad anymore because you will be dead.
@rocknthepurple: I've never played Jenga, but I have had to extricate myself from a sleeping toddler in my bed, so I think I could handle it.