@LOLGOP: BREAKING: Republicans may oppose President Obama's decision to skip breakfast.
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@iwearaonesie: [last night] *gets drunk* *can't remember if I fed the dog* *ends up feeding her 5 times* [tonight] *comes home* dog *hands me a beer*
@imdaintyaf: Don't date a man expecting to change him. At the end of the day he'll still be a man, and you'll have wasted your black candles and a goat.