@LOLGOP: BREAKING: Republicans may oppose President Obama's decision to skip breakfast.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ComedicBust: Before you say you "value my opinion," just know if a genie granted me 3 wishes, one of them would be to star in Sister Act 3.
@gavinspeiller: Anyone under the age of 21 should be legally required to end every sentence with the phrase "but there's a good chance I'm wrong about that"
@WilliamAder: If you want sparkling, sophisticated conversation, catch me early in the month, before I've used up my ten free New York Times articles.
@squirrel74wkgn: My wife looks like the cats in those cucumber videos when she turns around & sees me naked.