@LOLGOP: BREAKING: Republicans may oppose President Obama's decision to skip breakfast.
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@joshgondelman: The best argument for "the sequel is never as good as the original" is birds v. dinosaurs.
@SCbchbum: Thanks for warning me to be careful after I slipped & fell. I'll be sure to wish you luck on your lab test results at your funeral.
@Playing_Dad: *sees a spider* I'm going to kill him *turn around to get a shoe* *turns back around and spider has 8 shoes* Alright, let's be cool here