@xysist: Breakups is just a fancy name for what happens when men win arguments.
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@JD_KC: The lady helping my wife design a dining room table handed me a note reading "blink if you're being held against your will"
@GrantTanaka: "Hello, 911? Hi, I was just wondering: is it stop, drop, THEN roll? Cause my friend--STOP SCREAMING, I'M ASKING THEM"
@GuyThe_Guy: "Is there a Mr. Fields?" I say to my twelfth cookie, all the while knowing she's all mine.