@Jade_VK: Brenda from work unfollowed me on here so now I have to follow her around the office all day reading my tweets like a news broadcaster
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@johnbiehl: Enrique Iglesias wants to 1. Be your hero 2. Kiss away your pain 3. Stand by you forever Enrique Iglesias is your mother
@PajamaBen_: You know what I really like about you, girl? You're really down to earth. *waits for response, nothing. Goes to next tombstone* You know wha
@shegotagronk: I wished I loved anything as much as white people love saying "gracias" at Mexican restaurants.
@AGreaterMonster: As it turns out you cannot recharge your cell plugging it in to an electric eel. I'm just glad this aquarium had a paramedic on duty.