@Jade_VK: Brenda from work unfollowed me on here so now I have to follow her around the office all day reading my tweets like a news broadcaster
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@JWilsonGA: I don't know what "swag" is, but I was just told Justin Bieber & Lil Wayne both claim to have it. So, I'm assuming it's not talent.
@aveuaskew: My neighbors have been calling for their cat for 15 minutes. I've been meowing out the window for 30.
@Jennuflect: Not tryin' to brag, but my sex life is like a dormant volcano. It was fiery, but now it's inactive. Also, I killed a bunch of villagers.