@Jade_VK: Brenda from work unfollowed me on here so now I have to follow her around the office all day reading my tweets like a news broadcaster
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@MichaelTrying: Cough drops are perfect for when you want the cough you've had for three days to stop for 60 seconds and then come right back.
@SweetTweetsBRO: The worst feeling ever is when you miss someone but you can't even tell them you miss them because they are alcohol.
@mrjohndarby: Just seconds before we make the jump to light speed the captain nears my console to check my calculations. I minimise solitaire just in time