@Henry_3k: *Brings a hammer to a thumb war.*
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@IamEveryDayPpl: Her: I have a funeral to go to but I don't have a date yet. Me: Aw, you can't go alone? She meant the date of the funeral. I know that now
@ShortSleeveSuit: [on an airplane] Me: Is the pilot any good? Flight attendant: One of the best Me: [winks] How about the rest of the season?
@zachreinert03: If a genie granted me 3 wishes I'd ask for unlimited wishes, then I'd probably take a nap