@Kyle_Lippert: *brings a laser pointer to the Broadway showing of Cats and creates utter mayhem*
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@ashmensch: Good neighbors never bother you. Great neighbors don't call the cops when you pass out naked on their lawn.
@Try2StopME: Avoid office small talk by maintaining that facial expression between first sneeze and second sneeze.
@Reverend_Scott: SON: I need lunch money. DAD: Get a job. SON: I'm in 5th grade- DAD: All I'm hearin' is excuses.
@ckretmsage: I started to keep a notepad beside the bed so that I can write down tweets at night, so far I have: Really shitty handwriting in the dark.