@Kyle_Lippert: *brings a laser pointer to the Broadway showing of Cats and creates utter mayhem*
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@djr_102: I broke up with a girl once by leaving a note on the front door that simply said: "Love doesn't live here anymore, and now, neither do you."
@lazerdoov: My girlfriend told me she's "spotting" and I'm like yeah right for who? You can't even bench 50 Lbs lol
@bonehugsnirony: [at job interview at NASA] NASA: sir, you're underqualified for this position. Me: have you seen our president? NASA: give him a spaceship