@Kyle_Lippert: *brings a laser pointer to the Broadway showing of Cats and creates utter mayhem*
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@DadandBuried: My baby reminds me of Freddy Kruger: he's got long, sharp fingernails, is most terrifying at night, and forces you to survive on no sleep.
@WritePlay: Anjelica Huston got married to the inventor of autocorrect and now her legal name is Ageless Ice Houseboat.
@ArfMeasures: GUY: Welcome to Assumption Club. The first rule is ME: Yeah I think we got it thanks pal GUY: [under breath] Holy shit this guy's good
@HomeProbably: If someone overtakes me when I'm walking, I match their speed so it looks like I've got friends.