@ArfMeasures: [restaurant]
DATE: Tell me something naughty about you
ME: Sure [loudly chewing a steak] I haven't brought any money
@PS_IRuddYou: 7yr old: What's 10+10+10+25+25+5+1+1?
Me: Math
@ReelQuinn: "Please don't do this." - my voice mail greeting
@trumpetcake: Spent the day dressed as a bee, gently bumping myself against my neighbor's sliding-glass door. Got the hose twice.
@abrosenthal: A study found that Buzzfeed is the least trusted news source in media. Serves them right for telling me I belong in Hufflepuff.
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