@two1ohhbabydoll: "Bro, if she can still walk to the kitchen to make you a sandwich, you did it wrong." - murderers, apparently.
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@Jacob_Swift16: A cop just told me that i have way too many buddha statues for there to not be drugs in the house
@gobmentcheese: I've worked at my job for 7 years & my boss still hasn't noticed that I only give Magic 8-Ball responses to all of his questions.
@Contwixt: I have always been suspicious of Wendy's hamburgers because they are square; much unlike the round hamburgers one finds in nature.