@two1ohhbabydoll: "Bro, if she can still walk to the kitchen to make you a sandwich, you did it wrong." - murderers, apparently.
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@U_Want_Shum_M8: Robber: Give me all your money.Otherwise you are chemistry! ME: Don't you mean history? R: Don't change the subject! *Both start laughing
@RobDenBleyker: I just hope the government doesn't have my Angry Birds scores. All in all they're pretty embarassing.
@Kelly_skeleton: Whenever someone says “I’m not book smart, but I’m street smart”, all I hear is “I know where you can buy drugs"
@KenJennings: Ok America now is our chance to catch up on productivity, health care, math & science while the rest of the world is drunk & watching soccer