@novicefather: Bro. It's not ladies man, it's ladies' man. Chicks dig a dude who can navigate a plural possessive.
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@aparnapkin: One way to handle social anxiety is to pretend you are a ghost & people are staring at you because they have a gift they never asked for
@AGreaterMonster: LOL at the neighbor kids who didn't realize I keep my piranhas in the hot tub.
@GirrlGenius: If my body is ever found dead on a jogging trail, just know I was murdered elsewhere and dumped there.