@novicefather: Bro. It's not ladies man, it's ladies' man. Chicks dig a dude who can navigate a plural possessive.
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@KyleMcDowell86: "Wanna see videos from my vacation?" *shows home video of me eating a raccoon under a bridge "This is the wrong video" "No this is right"
@hippieswordfish: hey, a mime! *mime starts having heart attack* hes pretending to die lol *mime collapses* *hours later still watching his body* wow hes good
@nbadag: *at the pond* "hon—there's something i need to ask you" *emotional* yes? *blows duck call* *ducks on water arrange to spell out 'TACOS?'*
@13spencer: Relationship advice: Find someone who likes (or dislikes) the same amount of air-conditioning as you, and stick with them.