@novicefather: Bro. It's not ladies man, it's ladies' man. Chicks dig a dude who can navigate a plural possessive.
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@patrickhogan91: *Frankenstein arrives with his monster at a bodybuilding contest* "Oh, you meant... you meant it like... ugh. Well that was a waste of time"
@EndhooS: Scientist: we've finally taught a dog Morse Code Dog: [taps paw] Me: what did it say? Scientist: "woof"
@bananagrvyrd: So apparently you're supposed to change the lint filter in the dryer more than once a year firemen are hot