@OhNoSheTwitnt: Brobbits before Hobbits
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@iwearaonesie: Such bullshit that people stop saying "You ate it all! Good job!" once you reach a certain age
@ArfMeasures: [park] STRANGER: Your dog is unusual looking ME: Yeah, he's interbred DUCK: [waddles up] I'll tell you who else is into bread
@sgrstk: I want a girl who's crazy, but considerate. Like, if she stays home on a Friday night, she's not resting — she's giving the world a break.