@BuckyIsotope: Brought a ninja to a gunfight and it was really cool. Everyone clapped. Then they shot him.
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@Coastiefish: My car is equipped with the best anti-theft device in Florida. I call it "No air conditioning".
@badbanana: Reality show idea: "So You Think You Can Touch Mike Tyson's Nose." Hidden camera. Tyson isn't in on it.
@mayamanion: Ok parents who have really clean houses, do you have outdoor pets and outdoor kids? How does this work?
@moooooog35: Me: My wife got me a telescope for Christmas. Neighbor: Nice. I got- Me: I know. I watched you guys open everything.