@BuckyIsotope: Brought a stapler to a gun fight and now everyone is neatly organized into piles of corpses and sorted by height. The police will be pleased
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Jay_FrickinLynn: I accidently opened the fitness app and my phone immediately called to report itself stolen.
@Laser_Cat: The British are coming! The British are coming! The British have to get up early! The British swear they'll call you in the morning!
@nottheworstmom: *RSVP’ing to Christmas party* Whispering into phone: is it ok if I bring my weird roommate? Husband, from behind me: STOP CALLING ME THAT
@Tommytoughstuff: [High school reunion] Hey guys! Remember me!? "No" How about now? *puts an entire toilet on my head* (in unison) CHRIS!