@Brianhopecomedy: Brought my 5 year old to the tax office to ensure that the accountant works as quickly as possible.
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@TheHyyyype: [Arkham Asylum] GUARD 1: that guy's CRAZY *gestures to Joker's cell* JOKER: *using Bing instead of Google* GUARD 2: *whispers* holy shit
@LittleMissZesty: With me, it's not PRIDE that comes before a fall. It's half a bottle of vodka and a coffee table that I forgot existed.