@GrantTanaka: Bruce Wayne was terrified of bats & he became Batman, so anyway that's why I became ClownBaboonDentistMan
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@SirEviscerate: [Wrench factory] BOSS: I'm proud to say it's been 250 days without an injury! WORKERS: *celebrate by tossing all the wrenches into the air *
@MelvinofYork: Shrink: How many true friends do you believe you have? Me: Define “true friend.” Shrink: Someone you feel you can tell anything. Me: 11,419.
@shutupmikeginn: Google glasses? No thanks, too much tech. It's weird "You can secretly watch Netflix at work" Oh, please take literally all of my money.
@ibid78: A three hour long movie adaptation of pages 74 and 75 of the Hobbit? Friggin count me in.