@Fred_Delicious: Bruce Willis angrily returns a cheese grater to the store, "IT DID NOT MAKE THE CHEESE GREATER! IT JUST MADE LOTS OF LITTLE CHEESE" he fumes
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@dubstep4dads: [In the back of the car, imitating GPS voice] IN A HALF MILE, TAKE A SLIGHT RIGHT. ALSO PUT ERICS MIXTAPE BACK ON THAT WAS SO GOOD
@SteveKoehler22: Women love to say "sexy AF" or "hot AF" on Twitter .... If I'd known being in the Air Force was that hot...I'd have stayed in !
@Jake_Vig: If you have twin girls and don't dress them like in "The Shining" and make them stand in hallways, you've squandered a precious gift.