@Dildo_Hitler: Bruce Willis in Starbucks. he gives his name as "not Bruce Willis" and when they call him he grabs his coffee and runs away giggling
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@Reverend_Scott: wife: um, why is the zoo calling about a missing baby tiger? me filling a big bowl with frosted flakes: no idea.
@Crutnacker: BIDEN: That went well. OBAMA: Did you have to say you loved Trump's sons in Twilight? BIDEN: It's what I do.
@DaHess1: I want to see a pregnancy test commercial where 2 single people high five the shit out of each other because it's negative.