@Fred_Delicious: Bruce Willis is at the supermarket, standing by the cucumbers & laughing hysterically, pointing at them with tears streaming down his face
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@Storminika: My kid needs me to help him with a report on any famous black scientist. Can we do Dr. Dre?
@withanewname: Teacher: We're going to need you to work with your daughter on humility. Me: I was never good with weather stuff but I'll give it a shot.
@XplodingUnicorn: If you still have a landline, I assume you also own a butter churn and ride a dinosaur to work.
@sparklepants4: its raining men! hallelu..*thud* omg are you ok? *thud* oh sweet jesus! *thud* *thud* oh the horror! *thud* WHY GOD? WHYYYY??