@Fred_Delicious: Bruce Willis is being chased by a pug. he jumps in a taxi and escapes. he breathes a sigh of relief. the driver turns around. it's the pug
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@4ndBest: Girl dog: I'm into bad boys Guy dog: [remembering his owner saying how much of a good boy he is] ..oh
@OzCricketFan81: Take my daughter once, shame on you. Take her twice, shame on me. Take her 3 times, and you're ruining the franchise.
@Ms_Moneypenny_: The 1st to apologize is the bravest. The 1st to forgive, the strongest. The 1st to forget, the happiest.nnThe first to kill the other, WINS.
@IamEveryDayPpl: Him: "Are you single?" Me: *flashes back to that time Wil Wheaton RTd me and left me at the top of his TL all night* "It's complicated..."