@Fred_Delicious: Bruce Willis is being chased by a pug. he jumps in a taxi and escapes. he breathes a sigh of relief. the driver turns around. it's the pug
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@BeingDBEAST: The kid next door just challenged me to a water fight, so I thought I'd tweet this while I wait for the water to boil...
@Sal0630: Boss: I was listening to some Tool on the way to work. Me: I talk to myself when I'm driving sometimes too, it's ok. Boss: Just get out.
@OutOfLeftField_: I told someone my name and they said, "That's unusual. You don't hear that every day." Actually, I do.