@Thynebear: Bruce Willis is never content with how hard he dies.
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@notacroc: Sensei: always expect the unexpected *pulls out picnic blanket* Me: *instantly pulls out picnic basket* Sensei: *hands me ninja diploma*
@juliussharpe: People used to go all around the world for spices. That must have been underwhelming. "Guys, I've been gone three years and this is cumin."
@JoshontheGo: I'm at my most "penguin", when I'm walking to get more toilet paper with my shorts around my ankles.