@Thynebear: Bruce Willis is never content with how hard he dies.
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@garrydavenport: "We've been doing this for years, I simply can't be bothered thinking up another long scientific name. Drink?" - people who named the fly.
@PhoenixRises69: Apparently, driving past police cars while drinking water from an old vodka bottle isn't 'funny' and is technically 'wasting' police time :(
@salamingia: Boss: you spend a lot of time on your phone! Me: you spend too much time watching me. Don't you have work to do?
@djdarrellripley: Ooo! The morning weather girl... Come on baby, give daddy the five day forecast.