@Thynebear: Bruce Willis is never content with how hard he dies.
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@tuckerflodman: *Mom makes me take out the garbage* *Garbage and I begin to date* *I start taking things too fast* *Garbage dumps me*
@EmaSlema: I just saw a guy put a hamburger between 2 pancakes so I proposed on the spot and he just said "no" so he's obviously the smartest man alive
@Mikecanrant: The baby in the car next to me is either unable to control his arms or hes throwing me gang signs. Im not taking any chances. *locks doors*
@Darlainky: Nice try little pine tree air freshener, but this gas station restroom needs the efforts of an entire forest.