@Thynebear: Bruce Willis is never content with how hard he dies.
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@SortaBad: Why I don't get dates: Her: It's been light-years since I've had this much fun Me: Actually, a light-year is a unit of distance, not time
@ElleAys: My 6 yo just chugged a bottle of water in 30 seconds. Now I'm fearful of her college days.
@simoncholland: Hope my marriage can make it through another season of disagreement over the pronunciation of pecan.