@Fred_Delicious: Bruce Willis is relaxing by his pool. he's got so much sunscreen on that he slowly slides off his lounger, out of the gate & down the road
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@fro_vo: presidents day is just a holiday created by "Big President" to get us to buy more presidents
@TheCareBare: "Baby last night you were so hot, let's do it all over again this morning." -me, speaking to this leftover pizza.
@Phook75: If you're ever in a room where a doll should happen to come to life it would be prudent to leave that room
@preritpathak: *At a clothing store* Worker: Do you need any help sir? Me: *Mixes "No, I'm good" & "No, I'm just looking"* Me:"No, I'm just good looking"