@Fred_Delicious: Bruce Willis is relaxing by his pool. he's got so much sunscreen on that he slowly slides off his lounger, out of the gate & down the road
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@hazelmotes1: Giving your kid a recorder and telling him to go home and practice is how teachers get revenge on society for paying them so poorly.
@HappyHijabbi: *Brings 8 year old back to hospital nursery with receipt* This one doesn't listen anymore...Can I get a new one?
@Book_Krazy: Interviewer: Any questions? Me: On the sitcom Friends, how come the only couch at the coffee shop was always available for them?