@Fred_Delicious: Bruce Willis on a jetski, being pursued by a pug on a smaller jetski
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@adam_bloomquist: Saw a billboard that said: Don't be distracted by driving and texting. Next one said: Don't be distracted by driving and reading billboards.
@weinerdog4life: I'd like you to meet my family, my wife Sharon, my son Carl, and this balloon that follows me around
@patnelke: My kids have voted, and the results are in. It's official, I've been elected the President of Empty Threats.
@Playing4Second: CW: Have you had 5 guys? Me: *blank stare* That's kinda personal don't ya think? And that's when I found out it's the name of a burger joint