@Izianikapani: Brushed the fur off my couch and made another cat.
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@Tmoney68: Why "Trojan" condoms? Didn't the Trojan horse burst open & thousands of little guys poured out? Less than stellar marketing.
@alldrolledup: A Post-It note on every wine bottle at home that just says DON'T CUT YOUR HAIR AGAIN THAT WAS BAD
@PineapplePtart: Be careful, newbies. Twitter changes you. I used to be Puerto Rican, now I'm Irish.
@lyric_intent: Peoples whose sliding closet doors never come off their tracks, what do you do with the rest of your dark magic?