@hell_homer: btw I learned this tonight: DO NOT image search "scrotum" because people only post pictures using a medical name if there's something wrong
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@JermHimselfish: Sorry I didn't text you back, my hands are sore from karate chopping loaves of bread in half and feeding them to starving children all day.
@kwirkyKerri: Never underestimate a well placed "that's what she said". Unless your boss is standing behind you. Thanks for the heads up Michelle.
@ArfMeasures: [phone] WIFE: Where the hell are u? ME: Well u know that jewellers where u saw that ring u wanted? W: OMG M: I'm in a bar not far from there