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@jimmy_sharpe: Bucket list:
1. Don't die.
@SamGrittner: I'm God's gift to women if he stopped at a gas station last minute.
@SexySpainNights: *Unplugs your smart car to charge phone
@AaronFullerton: Hey cell phone companies, I can't think of a more terrifying selling point than "Unlimited Talk."
@Rhythms_n_Booze: Cop: You know why I pulled you over?
Me: Seriously? You forgot already??
@ReelQuinn: "Please don't do this." - my voice mail greeting