@jazmasta: Buddy, If you get in a fight with me there'll only be 2 "hits"; You hitting me and my screams of pain hitting 100 decibels.
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@heidi420x: You have to PAY for a speeding ticket?! I thought it was a reward for beating other drivers..
@bearcub577: Telling my daughter garlic is good for you. Good immune system and keeps pests away.Ticks, mosquitos, vampires... men.
@weinerdog4life: As I rise from my slumber the children scream in horror, as they did not know I was in the McDonald's Playland ball pit
@thatUPSdude: [1st date] Would it be odd if someone brought their cat on a date? Her: Very, what's in the box? Nothing, waiter cancel that can of tuna