@ginger_xtc: build a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day. set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
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@trentistweeting: ME: [at a party] hey! wanna come back to my place and- GIRL: hook up? sure! ME: [sadly putting away two Yu-Gi-Oh! decks] oh. awesome
@treywafer: Dear white people: you stop Adam Sandler from making movies and we'll stop Eddie Murphy.
@panmidwest: [First Date] ME: I prepared some questions to get to know you HER: Ok! ME: What's the capital of Honduras? HER: um… ME:[writing] bad at geo-