@Brianhopecomedy: Bumped into my Ex again. I should really move her to a different part of the freezer.
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@c_always_wright: high school was the free trial version of college. “if you wish to continue your education you can buy the complete pack for $50,000”
@Sickayduh: "Happy birthday! " - Oh wow! A necklace! I love- wait... Did you get me a fake diamond? "Well, it's not really your 29th birthday either"