@Brianhopecomedy: Bumped into my Ex again. I should really move her to a different part of the freezer.
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@3sunzzz: The advantage in having a lot of children is that statistically speaking, you're bound to like at least one of them.
@sip_at_home_mom: I'm finally putting that giant exercise ball to use, and my core is hurting from laughing at Toddler Dodgeball.
@madcaplaughs30: I bet when the toaster came out everyone was happy they didn't have to throw their bread at lightning anymore.
@PellMull: Everyone is unique. Except you. You are not unique. You are the only not unique person in human history.