@fro_vo: *burger king manager pulls me aside on my first day working there* when they say hold the pickle you don’t have to physically hold it
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@vmochama: why are we mad at Beyonce for cultural appropriation when we could be mad that she made us listen to a Coldplay song?
@Playing_Dad: Boss: We're having a meeting at noon for future managers Me: Will there be lunch? Boss: No Me: I don't want to be a manager that bad
@Writepop: "Oh man, you've got stretched lobes and piercings? I've got stretched lobes and piercings, too!" "Sweet! We should hang out!" - Ear buds
@LoveNLunchmeat: If a tiger goes to bite you, confuse him by french kissing him. You'll probably still die, but at least you got to make out w/ a tiger.