@BackrowSeats: Burger King's slogan "Have It Your Way" was shortened from "Are You Sure You Wanna Eat This? Ok. Have It Your Way".
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@medievalfun: Jesus:"table for 26 please" Waiter: "but there are 13 of you" J: "yes but we're all going to sit on the same side"
@DonQuickoats: My dogs are barking a lot lately but I think it is because their performance appraisals are coming up
@VanGobot: *sees a bug in my apartment* me: *yells at the spiderweb in the corner* WHAT THE SHIT, FRANK?! WE HAD A DEAL
@Cherhole: There was a girl pushing an suv this morning while the guy steered. Feminists everywhere must be scissoring in victory.