@DaHess1: @BurgerKing I love the way all employees working the drive thru speak English as a 14th language. I just got a frog and an avocado.
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@aveuaskew: If all the Domino's employees in the world held hands, you'd have to make your own pizza.
@iwearaonesie: *son wants to go to water park* *bring him to water park* *starts raining* *he starts crying..because he's getting wet* this is why I drink
@mattgallo123: Whenever I'm drinking gatorade and wearing gym clothes I wonder if people think I'm exercising or if they know I'm hungover on laundry day.
@panmidwest: ME: thanks for "showing me the ropes" lol SAILING INSTRUCTOR: you're not even making a joke sailing is literally where that comes from