@DaHess1: @BurgerKing I love the way all employees working the drive thru speak English as a 14th language. I just got a frog and an avocado.
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@Reverend_Scott: SON: The car's manual suggests not to turn the stereo up all the way. DAD: Guess you could say- SON: NO DON'T- DAD: -that's sound advice.
@missmayn: What happened to sneaking out and getting drunk in the woods? Teenagers these days be all “I hate you mom I’m joining ISIS.”
@chinchillasaur: [graduation speech] all of our parents had sex during the same year and i think that's really great