@causticbob: Burglars broke into Kanye West's home. As a result, 500 statues of Kanye West are missing.
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@solomongeorgio: I was called a faggot by an angry homeless woman last night. I would've been offended but I was too busy living in a home.
@SCbchbum: I wouldn’t mind being catcalled if it were useful: “Hey baby, boot sale at Macy’s!” or, “Line’s shorter at Starbucks on 5th, sweet cheeks!”
@RamblingMachine: The worst part of having to kiss someone is when the coffin lid falls and hits you in the head.
@abbycohenwl: Cat: Meow Me: Meow Mom: Why do you do that? Me: Silly, huh? Mom: No, reckless! Do you even know what you said? What if you told him he's fat