@isabelzawtun: Bury me in a werewolf costume so when I come back as a zombie people will be like "lol what"
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@JB4Realz: I can't take my dog to the pond because the ducks keep attacking him... Guess that's what get for buying a pure bread dog.
@LoveNLunchmeat: Everyone romanticizes the past until they get horribly sick and wake up covered in leeches.
@XplodingUnicorn: 5-year-old: Can I borrow a dollar? Me: You don't have a job. How will you pay me back? 5: Me: 5: I'll borrow another dollar.
@MelvinofYork: Interviewer: can you explain this gap in your resume Me: ugh yeah the spacing wouldn't format properly Interviewer: OMG I hate that