@Papa_Mex: But baby, if you didn't want me climbing in your window, why'd you leave the ladder in the garage behind the workbench chained to the beam?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@MatCro: [first day as a midwife] ME: Keep pushing! I can see the head! NURSE: You're at the wrong end.
@Ristolable: "Do you ever get the feeling Mitch is an undercover cop?" [MITCH enters] MITCH: Hey guys! *speaking into shirt collar* I brought the drugs
@rickolantern: The mice in my apartment left me a note that said as long as I keep buying store brand graham crackers, there's no need for traps.
@AndrewNadeau0: Trump is opting not to have celebrities at his inauguration in the same way that I opted not to take any cheerleaders to prom.