@Papa_Mex: But baby, if you didn't want me climbing in your window, why'd you leave the ladder in the garage behind the workbench chained to the beam?
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@topaz_kell: Rage against the machine is what I do when my candy bar gets stuck and won't drop down.
@KalvinMacleod: Me: Can I pet your dog? Stranger: sure M: one more time S: uh, ok M: again S: maybe you should get your own M: pet S: we have to go M: mine
@usermcuserface: At the library: Librarian: you have 45 cents in late fees. Me: (adjusts bow tie then slides 50 cents across the table) Keep the change
@katiefzack: If a guy runs his fingers through your hair, there is a 33.3% chance you are being used as a napkin.