@Papa_Mex: But baby, if you didn't want me climbing in your window, why'd you leave the ladder in the garage behind the workbench chained to the beam?
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@jimmytorosian: *Brings axe to slumber party* "Oops. I thought you said 'lumber party'" *Knew the whole time* *Waits until they're asleep* *Chops down tree*
@TequilaTears: Facebook should have a limit on times you can change your relationship status... After 3 it should default to "Unstable"
@SeanEmeny: They say "confidence" is the most attractive quality in a partner. But I'd have to say "not banging my friends" would be a very close 2nd
@iGreenMonk: A boy met a girl She:Every time u smile, I feel like inviting u to my place He(smiling):Why thank u.. are u single? She:No, I'm a dentist