@_sleepysmile: But I love food, why would it want to poison me? :(
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@ShawnHatosy: If honey is supposed to be so great for your voice, why does it sound like Winnie the Pooh has been shotgunning bleach?
@3sunzzz: When you ask your waiter for an extra pickle, don't wink. It can easily be misinterpreted.
@JordyHamrick: Just saw a homeless woman try to use a cat as a telephone. She accepted a cigarette in exchange for the cat. Cat is my telephone now.