@_sleepysmile: But I love food, why would it want to poison me? :(
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@Vodkantots: It's like my mother always told me, "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all." Then she said I looked fat.
@Black__Elvis: I only buy expensive baby food with cute babies on the label because I'm willing to pay extra if it means my kids aren't eating ugly babies.
@Jeff_Ross_MD: BREAKING: President Obama shows solidarity with victims in war-torn countries by posting another selfie with celebrities.