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@_sleepysmile: But I love food, why would it want to poison me? :(
@joanneraposo: Why is fruit so expensive?
I want some raspberries, not the tears of Jesus.
@Adar79Angie: Extra virgin olive oil is just olive oil who got dating advice from me.
@mkesquire: Jokes on her! I LIKE sleeping on the couch.
@kcmoore51: 13: I have a friend that doesn't like baseball, chocolate, or bacon.
Me: Pretty sure that's not a friend, bro.
@magsaidwhat: In the new version of Star Wars, Harrison Ford slowly flies the Millenium Falcon in the left lane with the turn signal on