@_sleepysmile: But I love food, why would it want to poison me? :(
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@michaeljhudson: I brought a t-shirt cannon to a knife fight. Everyone dropped their knives to catch their own piece of WNBA history.
@MoneypennyNaked: *deletes your contact information* Siri: Are you sure you really want to do that? You've already deleted and re-added this guy 17 times.
@weinerdog4life: The 2nd amendment gives us the right to bear arms and the 8th amendment gives us the right to horse legs